Friday, May 18, 2012

I don't want to go back to work

Before I had my surgery, when I envisioned what the coming months would entail, I did, of course, imagine taking daily walks and doing my PT exercises but I also was flooded with childhood memories of being sick and watching The Price is Right, $10,000 Pyramid and I Love Lucy re-runs.  That was the best part of staying home sick:  daytime TV.

So it was surprising to me, as I've written before, that other than the odd afternoon movie or episode of Oprah, I've not really watched any daytime TV at all. It just isn't all that interesting. I have spent a lot of time reading (other people's) and writing (my own)  blogs and generally trolling around on the Internet.  In the beginning, when I didn't have much energy, I spent a lot of time knitting but less so as I've felt better. I have an art project/baby gift that I'm working on.  I tend to my little garden most mornings. I try to be diligent about exercising and I walk quite a lot every day.  And of course, I spend a lot of time drinking coffee.

The other day, I was sitting in the local coffee shop and I noticed that I was the only person under 65 sitting there.  To be fair, it was late morning and I am sure that the lunch rush would bring a younger patronage.  But at that particular moment, I wondered if it wasn't time for me to be getting back to work.  And by time, I didn't mean 11am, rather that I should return to a more productive lifestyle. 

Many people have asked if I'm not bored and looking forward to getting back to work already.  However the answer to that is: not yet.  Although physically I think I'm capable of it.  I simply don't want to. ( I have been working from home one day a week this month.  I sit on a pillow on a dining room chair.  It isn't that comfortable and I try to get up once an hour to walk around and stretch.) I have always liked working, I never saw myself as someone who would want to stay home but as my Dad always says "Only fools get bored" and there is always something to occupy my attention.  So far, having lunch at a sidewalk cafe in the middle of the day, watching the parade of humanity streaming past, hasn't grown tired. Nor has reading and writing what I want to, which trumps reading and answering irritating work-related emails. 

Perhaps it's due to the fact that, over the last couple of years, the company I work for has morphed into one of those faceless, bureaucratic, corporate behemoths.  The kind where complicated processes take precedence over the end result. The kind where everything is so fragmented that no one can see the whole picture any more.  The kind where selling the company to new owners is more important than selling the product to customers.  It's just not fun any more.  More than that, it's downright frustrating.  I don't envy my replacement, who calls me daily to remind me that she loves me but hates my job.  I don't blame her one bit. 

I've got 2 more weeks before I return to the office full time.  I intend to enjoy that time completely, mainly drinking coffee and playing the lottery.

(never grows old!)

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